Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
