if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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