Im at strip club and am horny
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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