this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
