I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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