My hand turned me down
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
