the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
