I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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