She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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