i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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