listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
