Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
