Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
