I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
