Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
