i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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