Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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