So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
