It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
