remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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