the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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