Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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