We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
