ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize