You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
