Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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