ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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