I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!