Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?