That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?