yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.