Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

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  (402): her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed http://tfl.nu/3qmq
  Replies (5) Good night (5488) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.

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  (414): the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details. http://tfl.nu/93dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6290) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me

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  (714): Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me http://tfl.nu/5ujc
  Replies (44) Good night (21083) Bad night (949)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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  (267): I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/lcyo
  Replies (27) Good night (965) Bad night (4959) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

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  (919): i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ilti
  Replies (42) Good night (10004) Bad night (798)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.

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  (902): I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor. http://tfl.nu/v10d
  Replies (9) Good night (3562) Bad night (1386) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished

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  (303): Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished http://tfl.nu/9vgd
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (3015) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

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  (662): I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics http://tfl.nu/lc06
  Replies (9) Good night (1209) Bad night (3090) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.

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  (210): OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR. http://tfl.nu/pgie
  Replies (44) Good night (1073) Bad night (9738) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...

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  (480): She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight... http://tfl.nu/8zew
  Replies (1) Good night (3200) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.

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  (651): He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old. http://tfl.nu/87vs
  Replies (11) Good night (1917) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer

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  (410): The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer http://tfl.nu/0sxh
  Replies (5) Good night (1413) Bad night (880)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  other than the jail part I had a really good time with you

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  (615): other than the jail part I had a really good time with you http://tfl.nu/dcut
  Replies (3) Good night (1637) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.

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  (828): I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know. http://tfl.nu/l3hv
  Replies (11) Good night (996) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.

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  (214): I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted. http://tfl.nu/jl70
  Replies (6) Good night (1263) Bad night (291)

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