Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
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Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
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Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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