so explain again why im purple
no
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
