he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
