So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
