we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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