the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
