i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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