i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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