i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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