Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
