I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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