Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
