i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wish my penis had a tongue
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
