it's too hot outside to masturbate.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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