Having a random hookup so left but love u
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
