He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
