so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he shaved USA in his pubs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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