Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
