So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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