just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
