i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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