I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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