My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
