a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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