I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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