it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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