the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
