So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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