i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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