i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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