I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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