check it out our google latitudes are spooning
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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