it wasn't lemon gatorade
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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