She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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