His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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